SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GRASP THE CONCEPT OF "UNWELCOME".

On to Breaking Dawn already! But for the benefit of those who have not read the previous two or three books, I shall keep my gap shut and not comment. I can only say that I feel oh so sorry for Jake. Sigh.

Well my head is about to explode with the amount of things running through it. But I reckon the time given will be beneficial for more than just me. Also there are so many things I have to sort out and I don't even know where to begin. I have been doing my fair share of research but there's so much more to be done and worked out. The last people I want to burden are the parentals. So I'm gonna work my way around it without involving them. Hopefully it works out!

For now I am a week away from freedom, so to speak. But it's the kind that requires me to be grounded at the same time. Sian la. But it's ok, I need this. We need it :)

♥the trick is to keep breathing 9:52 AM

I AM DONE HERE.

-HIATUS PERSONIFIED-

♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:45 AM

♦POKER NIGHT(s)♥

As of late, well at least since christmas the cousinletts, sister and a couple of friends here and there have made a weekly effort (if i may call it that) to poker the night away. Namely Fridays and we've only missed one week since and that too cause I had plans. Thanks to my brilliant idea of actually teaching them how to play poker...they are now officially addicted and game to make their way down to my humble abode to play it once a weeeek. And luck wasn't exactly on my side tonight- also cause I was very much broke. grrr. None the less it was funn! :)) What better way to spend time with the familia eh?? Haa.

Can't wait for the long ass weekend next week! (but it's also study weeek, jia lat!!) BBQ with the family and a yearly tradition of hotel stay with the friendssss! Grand Mercureee Hotel here we comeee. Another year, another place, another hotel that black lists us. Hahah, whats new eh?! I see a highly intoxicated weekend next week. And that will mark the beginning of my study week. sian.

However, tomorrrow first! Mandy Panty's 21st Birthdayyy! This calls for a reunion! Missed the whole gang together and its been ages. Woooot! Can't wait!

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY PANTY!! (in advance, i know its not your birthday yet!!) time to get smashed tomorrow! lovelove.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 12:29 PM

Today I decided that I shall live for the moment. I tell myself that everyday and try to live by it- it is tough though. I mean why worry about tomorrow? Or why brood over what's happened? Instead live for the moment and not regret a thing that's happened. Deal with it as it passes and it'll be easier. I realize that I could be at a happy place with someone that can make me laugh till I cry or give me the warmest most biggest bear hug when I do cry but instead I sit with my chin resting in my hands and stone away thinking about things that have happened yesterday or weeks, sometimes even months or years ago.

For example: worrying about whats to come or being at a beautiful place and not savoring the moments there but wondering when I will be back there? Or telling someone "ohh i should totally come back here one day!" hell you are there, relish it while you can...and when you think about it..it does make a lot of difference and you tend to smile a lot more and frown a lot less.

So whenever I sit and my mind drifts off to far off places, I snap back to reality and relish the moments I have that can instantaneously put a huge grin on my face. And I have more than a million reasons why I should be smiling these days, and maybe you'd realize you have more than one reason to smile too today.

HAPPY MID-WEEK! :))

xx

♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:32 AM

One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair.

BUT....

YOU fixed me up right away. Thank You.
___

I have gotten answers. Confronted whatever emotions I had to. And it didn't take me two hideously long weeks. It took me just three days. I did it on my own, stood my ground and found that it's not entirely necessary to make things clear. I am safe and sound and not muddled. I have finally attained the closure that I had been longing for.

Finally.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 12:56 AM

I HONESTLY BELIEVE GOD HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR.

I am truly and thoroughly disgusted with my latest discovery of sorts. I get goosebumps just thinking of it. Ewwww. Really. I want to be happy for you, but it's just too wrong. Oh well. The man up there has his reasons. But it does make me feeel a tad better. Hah, in a very sadistic way. tskk. so evil i am. I will go to church this Sunday and repent for thy sin.

The days are going by quicker than imagined and i am counting on those muffins tomorrow for the sugar fix. I neeeed. Feb come soooner pleasee! I want to get out of heree. :)

Anyway I am developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction...and i don't seem to care at all. I happen to like it very much.

In a twisted way it blurrs out the numbness.

(and you my darling lil brother, i want to hold you so tight, wipe your tears away and tell you everything is gonna get better from here on, but you have to have a little faith and believe that it WILL get better. I love you dearly and will always be here to wipe your tears dry. FOR LIFE. love you donnie)

♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:50 AM

ITS A BEAUTY.

When I think back to exactly a year ago and see how far you've come since then and the impact I have made on your every move in life since, I cannot be any more proud than I am of who you've become and all that you've achieved. It inspires me to become someone and a better person at that. And so much more I tell you. You would know. Just standing there and seeing how much has been accomplished, it's so satisfying. Gawd, 2009 is really awesome. For you at least, it will be. I have faith in me, don't worry. :) My time will come as well.

One more new years resolution down on the list. This one since i was 18 and its beeeeen long long overdue. Doesn't help that i can drive and that too illegally. so with that said, I must and will get my license by the end of this year, period. PRONTO.

On to New Moon now. Twilight, the boook was very detailed and different from the movie. Explains why everyone who read the book before the movie thought otherwise..about how the movie was made! I'm with you guys. but then again the movie would have been three or four hours long if they didn't make the changes they did. And thats always the problem when you make a movie adaptation of a book. well well...none the less it was an awesome movie and an even awesome read! yes yes, as overrated as it is.

later alligators. :)

♥the trick is to keep breathing 9:21 AM

Life is beautiful. The world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be, really. I am truly content with what i have these days. And i should be grateful for it. I do not intend to take any of this for granted. Cause these opportunities in life don't come by often. Of course, there are the daily squabbles in life but those can be fixed if you don't run away from them or ignore it totally. Besides that everything is right where it's supposed to be. December (2008) was one fruitful month. I cherished every moment of it and that made me look forward to 2009. And we're not even one week into Jan and I am loving it already.

However there is one part of me which isn't looking forward to the next two weeks ahead of me. Maybe i am not prepared to confront my emotions cause i have been really strong about everything and moving along so gracefully. But i hope this is who i am and that it's not just a facade i have been hiding behind. There isn't just one pillar but many pillars of strength that i can fall back on. I refuse though. I need to stay grounded cause it is something life's lessons have taught me so far. I am just glad i have the people that matter most in my life standing by me, prepared to catch me if i fall despite my refusal to let them. This i am truly grateful for. Sometimes i feel like i do not thank God enough for all these souls he has blessed me with.

You I personally want to thank. For wanting to whisk me away over the weekend so i can have a peace of mind. But i think it'll be a complete waste of moolah my dear. I am not gonna run away! I have to confront whatever it is i need to accost. I'm a big girl, remember? :)) However I promise you, Feb we will go on that holiday we both deserve. In the mean time you can always buy me more books?? Haha, it will keep me and my mind occupied. For sure! Then again i have four books earnestly waiting to be read sitting on my shelf. This reminds me..I do intend to have my very own library in my new home! and a huge one at that. Comprenda?

As for my two bestfriends, Raine and Steffie - the three of us have become such busy bees, with our own commitments at hand. Steffie being the gorgeous mommy that she is with her oh so cute 2 year old bundle of joy she's blessed us all with, juggling work amidst all that! Raine with school every other day and of course i have school too! And now with tuitions and what not since the new school term is here. We may not call each other up on a daily basis, let alone meet up like how we used to back in the day. But somehow we make it a point to drop each other text messages or try and squeeze a dinner date or two just to catch up and know we're all doing fine! and that's somehow become mandatory in our so called busy schedules, with schoool, work and boys. And i dare say, this will go on for a long time to come. What more when Raine and I actually go out into the working world. Or when i intend to leave for Aussie in time to come. I am just glad that this 9 year long friendship hasn't gone down the drain and it's been worth the fights, the tears, the emotions, shared joys and laughter we all have been through. On to our 10th year as bestfriends, I am glad i ushered in the New Year and that too, to a better 2009 with you guys by my side. There was nothing more i could ask for. I love you two dearly - never forget that.

ps: its your 21st this year steffie. where is it gon be at? VEGAS?! ;))

((J'aime la vie))

♥the trick is to keep breathing 12:39 PM

I am officially done with Eat Pray Love. Please tell me i am not wrong about the fact that Julia Roberts is playing Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie adaptation of this book! I was checking out the reviews for this book and many could not get themselves to sit through the entire read. Lorraine tried reading it two or three times but it never quite sustained her interest long enough for her to finish it. Only a handful told me they thought the book was good. Other online reviews read that it was a boring book and it being rather dry. To be honest, initially i found myself forcing my way past pages, however by the time i was mid-way her first journey to Italy..i was hooked. I guess it's also about the whole self-discovery prospect and the emotional mambo jumbo that i somewhat related to.

I am now on to my next book. Marley & Me which many have read and i have heard nothing but good reviews about. Also I intend to finish it within the next two days. (I would finish it sooner if it weren't for poker tonight, which i am looking forward to) The movie is out in Singapore on the 8th of Jan which is not too far off. Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson play Jennifer and John Grogan. I think they'd do the actual Mr and Mrs Grogan justice. I can't wait to catch it in cinemas!

***

Last night I went over to V's with the sole intention of watching That 70's Show only because he has it from season one right up to date in DVDs. HOWEVER, we switched on the television to channel 5 and this particular movie which I THOUGHT was just a 1 hour series started. Mail Order Wife (which aired in 2004) - thats the title. Curious, cause i had never heard of such a series (only because it wasn't actually a series but a movie!), i watched on now thinking it was a documentary..because that is how the movie is made. In a documentary kinda setting. The first one hour later I realized it was not a series, not a documentary but a movie!! It had gotten kinda intersting by then so i continued watching and it is a movie to watch la! It's a comedy.. i thought i shouldn't be laughing but after checking imdb out i found out i was permitted to laugh cause it IS a comedy! It's about how...

a documentarian funds a NYC doorman's Asian mail order bride in exchange for the right to film the experience. But when Lichi arrives in America, she finds herself married to a recluse with a penchant for sadistic sexual role-playing. Objectivity flies out the window when she and the filmmaker become involved. Twists and turns are plentiful in this tragi-comic love triangle where all is not what it seems.

Watch it if you can find it at a DVD/VCD rental shop. :)

aiite, i'm off to read myself away till poker! later.

xx

♥the trick is to keep breathing 3:27 AM