Scars For Me & Souvenirs For You

Friday, October 31, 2008

I got through the first part of today but lets just say there's more instore for me. One hurdle down and many more to go. I hope this works out as planned, i need it. very much. for myself this time! I've to get out of the house in 45 minutes. I have decided what to wear and am completely dodging traditional for something more practical for the after party IF there is one. I think i am losing that phase. Slowly. Hurr, it lasted an entire month prior to Diwali so its about time i started losing touch with it. And go back to the 'Ah Lian' in me. Back to my long lost Trance and Techno-siao. It's been tooooo long a hiatus from what keeps me sane. Yes trance and techno keeps me sane. I'm done with emo lyrics and sad tunes.

I'm coming home to you TIESTO!

Another month is here and this means December is nearing. I can't believe how 10 months just flew past just like that. This year clearly wasn't my year for sure. From school to my job and then back to school, but hell i graduate soon. My parents stood by me through it all, and i thank them soo much for their unending support no matter what the decision was on my part. Well i am looking forward to an awesome December and an even better 2009. The ghost of Christmas goth is coming to visit me soon. I dread. I want Santa instead! It'd be even better if he could transport my baby back for Christmas, but that's too much to ask for now isit Santa? :( Well Jan calls for a major celebration cause i get to see him. So countdown i shall!

Anyway did i mention how i have effing exams next week and then right after my new term begins. Bummer right? No breaks inbetween also. KNN. I need a holiday la. Seriously. Batam also can be do. Haaa.

I AM SO SICK OF FALL OUTS.

gots to go.

Raaka-TA! :D

OH HAPPY HALLOWEEN! (i spent it with the skeletons in my closet, it was fun.)

♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:23 PM

Thursday, October 30, 2008

You don't owe nothing to me but to walk away I have no capacity.

If you think it does not affect me as much as it affects you, you have been mistaken. It affects me a great deal. It hurts. I even shed tears this morning as I tried so hard to fall asleep cause it was painful being awake. And so it carries on, these random pangs of emotion that hit me. Sigh

I've been stressing out the last couple of days..exams round the corner. This weekend is packed. Beginning from 9am in the morning! I have so many things to do before sat comes, errands to run and places to go and get those errands done. It's already Thurs and I have all of tomorrow to do it amidst my studying. Grrr. Sunday, Sarah's place. And monday to study! and Tues is my HMC paper..wahh. cannot make it, really.

I better get back to my books now, cause I need to squeeze in my Gossip Girl a little later! GREY'S AND DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES is back too!! I think i'm gonna digg the new 90210 since i was a huge fan when i was way younger and following the old series. I think when i head down to the states for a month or two this is what i'll be doing. Glued to the couch watching all the series form CW and FOX! Now thats what i'm looking forward to.

I'm offf!

♥the trick is to keep breathing 3:09 AM

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You heeled these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind

I know I don't fit in that much

But I'm yours

♥the trick is to keep breathing 4:15 PM

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I've been such a grumps lately and i don't even know why. I am about two weeks away from the rest of my exams, and mug i should. After Diwali that is. :D cause that is the one thing i am looking forward to. Quality familia time!

So there goes Halloween weekend cause i'm not gon be heading out. I'll be burning that, just like last year. I had a flight if i am not wrong, hence i was a flight attendant last Halloween, and this year round i'll be spending it with the skeletons in my closet! How exciting eh? My ninja baby however is gon experience his first real Halloween in the states. It's his first time actually shopping for a costume and he's going as a hot hot NINJA. pictures are exclusively for me. He warned me not to put them up anywhere. LOL. Only cause he's embarrassed. hurrhur.

Aruna is back in SG for Diwali. Which means i'll be getting my hands on all the purrty things elfie baby got me from the states. :)) My Oakley wallet, and bag, my Guess top and an Old Navy dress. VS has to wait! SOB! I wish she had packed him in her luggage instead. Sigh, but like mentioned i am counting down to Jan. I am kinda afraid to see him..its been too long! But its a good afraid. Not a bad one..well either ways..CAN'T WAIT BOO!

Alrighty, it 8.05pm. i'm off for a jog and a swim.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 4:56 AM

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cause i am just afraid to open these eyes and give in to my pain, take back all your lies.
And i am just afraid to call out your name, look into your emptiness and capture how you've changed. And i still need part of you, did i make it hard to do?

I see the sunshine but then it rained.

Did you imagine long summer nights holding on to what we had which could have been the rest of my life.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 11:11 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

OMFG.

the frustration that is building inside of me cannot get any more immense. i swear, i could scream just to vent but then again i don't think it'll do me any good anyhow.

GRRRRR. spare me please, it's too drama for my liking and we're not like the rest anyway..we fuss, we fight, we argue, we bicker..but don't we also laugh and cry and be there for one another. which is exactly what you were trying to do, i am aware. but it seemed like something else in my eyes. still does cause it wasn't solely about me, was it? there is way too much you need to hear from me. not just what has already been said. but i had enough for today..i'll leave it for another time another place.

---

CAN'T WAIT FOR JANURARY! good news, wheeee. boy, do i love you ♥

♥the trick is to keep breathing 9:57 AM

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

From a brown hue to a red head to a blondie in just a month. NOT GOOD, not good at all. BUT i happen to like it very much though the better half has not very nice things to say about it. (but whatever to that, for now..its not like i can do anything about it anytime soon)

so i went from this

to this..

AND YES YES YES I LIKEEEEEE IT ! *rollseyes*

i am not even gon begin on how you take the cake for making me feel like the ugliest creature on planet earth..so ANYWAY,

i have an exam come wed, a submission this fri and the stress is building up and i am about to leave the house to head down to the nice lil cosy cafe opposite my condo, to study and have me a nice home made iced tea accompanied by the yummiest souffle i have ever sunk my teeth in. well the point is i eat more when im stressed and eat less when im depressed. I rather be depressed than stressed cause at least i don't put on the extra pounds. and as of late..i so have :( pffft ! i have neglected the sun and the swim for a week now, so this weekenddd..im dedicating myself to the pool for sure. Soak up the sun, DETOX and tann. YES YES YES DETOXXXX!!

ok, gotta run now. toodles.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 3:03 AM

Monday, October 6, 2008

HOPE YOU HAVE A FAB BIRTHDAY AND MAY ALL GOOD THINGS COME YOUR WAY !!!!!

i loveeee you! ♥♥♥

♥the trick is to keep breathing 7:21 AM

Sunday, October 5, 2008

the more i GROW the less i know

what if less keeps me content? what if i'm happy with what i have, and it's enough to keep me going? i guess i like it better now that i've put a halt to high expectations. BUT i still hope and i still have a little faith in me. its all i need and i know i will get through it..

SO, no i do not need people telling me otherwise. telling me i am stupid, i am stronger and that i deserve better. AND yes, just maybe i know all of the above, but i choose to want to live my life this way because i am happy. FOR ONCE, i am truly happy. as long as my heart does not ache and i do not shed a tear i think i am pretty fine, thank you.

third party opinions not welcomed. i constantly put myself in a third parties shoe and consider the situation however that does not help much cause at the end of the day its a entirely different ball game altogether.

SO BE HAPPY (for me) CAUSE I AM HAPPY.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:13 PM