A contemptuous narcissist, who believes that happiness,
comes to those who truly want it. –It’s in your hands.
You choose how you live this life and you only live it once.
You either make it or break it.
He turns 19 today, and i'd love to be out with you guys tonight, but i have an exam this week and i need to mug as much as i can. Which is even the reason why i forfeited my Infected Mushrooms which i was so so so looking forward to :(( Sob! But i reckon me not being in the mood for it either cause i don't really feel like being out. Went out last night, for a bit..Lorraine took us for a drive and we hung out and i was nothing but miserable..really! I thought being out would perk me up, but being around couples...hmmm..not my idea of a 'perk-me-up'.
Lorraine and Raj were sweet enough to buy me supper and drop it off and keep me company tonight, just cause i didn't feel like coming out. Sambal fried rice was yum! Talked, watching porn (okay, maybe just Raj..hahahaha), went for a walk and then came up. They just left awhile ago..and i got a call from my BABY!! He's on his way to see his apartment. Misss you elfiee!
Well, i'm burning the midnight oil tonight, lets see how long that lasts. Ha!
Nightsss!
♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:38 AM
Friday, June 27, 2008
The days are passing too darn slowly for my liking, really. But there's nothing i can do about it. My day is meant to be packed with studying and more studying but i am highly distracted. I managed to feed my brains with some information earlier, but some is not good enough, the rest are just thoughts of him. Every text i get or every other time the phone rings, i'm anticipating. Hoping it's him calling. And a couple of times today, the messages were from him. He landed safely, and it's ten minutes past midnight in Tucson now. He was busy shopping at Walmart earlier...luckyyyy ass!! i've always wanted to shop there..Now he's back at his friends apartment chilling, i'm waiting for him to head back to the hotel so i can call him. He only gets to move in to his apartment 3 days from now. He gets to be pampered with room service and housekeeping for three days, he should enjoy that while it lasts, cause then he needs to be MISTER INDEPENDENT. Which he's far from, my spoilt brat.
I went down earlier to get me a calling card. Ha, i didn't even know which was the better deal in terms of rate, and since SingTel is much trusted, i ended up buying the Hello! card. Which has a credit of 10$ and i am not sure how long the calling card lasts in terms of hours, i know its about 1 1/2 hours or isit more..im not sure. But i checked the rates for calling Tuscon and its 12cents per min..which is cheaper than the pay phone under my block which is 20cents per min. Mom already gave me ample warning about not making the house phone bill a bomb, so invest in calling cards i shall.
Lost the bet last night! So much for 0 goals at full time. I knew there wouldn't be 0 goals. Elvis laaa! He in his gut instincts. It's not about instincts mann, its about knowing the teams and their capabilities rather. Russia and Spain, hellooo!! 0 goals, really?! But i really thought so too actually, teehee. Until, spain scored of course! Just sat in my room and skyped the rest of the morning away till elf called at 4ish from LA.
He said the 'niggaz' are the real deal there. Ha, i wonder what he means by that...i guess he feels small. Grabbed a burger yet baby?! White castleeeeee here he comes!! ;))
Aiite, im off for a huff and puff and back to thy notes!
Dinner with Lorraine, Raj and Steph later..hopefully.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 12:08 AM
Thursday, June 26, 2008
This is the video I made for Elvis, before he left. A lil' something i thought he could look at every now and then when he feels like taking a walk down memory lane. :)
♥the trick is to keep breathing 4:32 AM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I think about you all the time you won't escape my mind no matter how hard i try every tender kiss still lingers every soft embrace still feeling the touch of your fingers the sound of your voice every little bit of you still stains my memory i still remember your sad goodbye although i wish it wasn't true i miss you more than anything and i want you to know that P.S i love you.
_____
Here i am on the 26th morning, wishing i could turn back the hands of time just to spend another minute with you. Another moment lingers in my head and fills the rest with immense thoughts and memories. One song keeps playing in my head, the one that got you smiling as you watched the video i made. Sure did bring sweet memories from the day we first met huh love? It sure wasn't easy and definitely painful as i saw you wave us goodbye. That one hug is gonna last me till i see you 6 months from now when i come to visit. The words "I love you" echoes in my head all too vividly and in some ways torment me, but i know thats what's gonna keep me going. I've set my alarm for 11am cause thats when you'll be on transit at Hong Kong. I'll be waiting for your call, just to know you're save and sound before boarding the next flight out to LA. Then i've to wait another thirteen hours before i hear from you again...Gawd the thought of it all.
But no, i've never been this confident about our relationship, cause no one can tear us apart. We're made for each other and i'll always have your heart while you have mine. No distance is too great for us to love each other. Undying and tested. We definitely have been put to the test the past couple of months, but we've learnt a great lesson, the two of us. Your eyes said it all, and i could tell how hurt you were and i wish i could take it all away but now its time for us to fight the only fight i've known. And that's the fight for you and our love.
You mean the world to me and watching you leave for the states wasn't the best moment in my life. But this morning, you didn't only make me the saddest girl alive you also made me the happiest by being mine, again. I know you will be save. Like you said you're just a phone call away but a million miles at that :(
I refuse to seee the pictures taken at the airport cause it hasn't sunk in just yet. Right about this minute you would be on the plane, taking off perhaps..i wonder where your mind is. Thinking about your family and friends, what lies ahead perhaps. Just know my thoughts are with you this very moment.
You'll do just fine baby. I know it.
I love you, always have, always will.
DE.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 3:59 PM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Faith has been broken
Tears have been cried
Lets do some livin' before we die
♥the trick is to keep breathing 2:38 PM
Friday, June 13, 2008
This is an anthem for the RISK of loving YOU.
Spent 7 whole hours helping K-lerr pack the remainder of his household stuff to be shipped off, last night. How tiresome it was, but we managed to pull through..just the two of us. He spends half his time sitting on Virtual DJ while i've to keep nudging him to get on his toes and do what he has to. We completely overslept this morning, considering how we only slept at 7ish this morning and had to wake up at 8.30AM. I swear i didn't hear the alarm ring elffiee. But that definitely made him wake up almost instantly, otherwise i would've had to hear him whining for "5mins please" countless number of times.
I digress...
*gawdddd, the foool is still on Virtual DJ, im hearingggg a whole lot a trance and techno since i stepped into his house last night.....tiestooo is love, but K-lerr is lovee too ;)**
The movers came awhile ago to collect the boxes, how relieved we are to have all that out of the way. Now he's gotta worry about the packing of his luggage and hand carry baggage. A limit of 23kg for 2 baggages for check-in. At the rate he's going he's gon exceed the weight limit. 2 years worth being shipped across the globe is not a joke. It's damn sad, i swear. Everytime i hear someone mention the states or how he's going away..it just makes me wanna screaaam! It's bloody unfair how someone that matters goes over the seas far far away and you only get to see them when the time and cash permit you to. In my case, i'm saving my mooolah now cause i am definitely making a trip there and i'm gonna make every minute of it count. Either end of this year or beginning of next. But i wanna be there for his birthday and new years. But that would mean i'll be away from thy familia. But anything for him, the poor boy's not gon have anyone there during the holidays this year. We'll see..hope that goes as planned.
I'm waiting on lunch. His mommy is getting us good ol' briyani! I craveee!
Aiite niggaz, imma wash up and sink my teeth into moi lunchieee!
Havee a good sat-urrrrr-day & sunnyyday!
Twelve days.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:10 PM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
For once i want to just go up to him and yell how i feel but once he hears it; it won't make a difference, everything is the way it should be. He doesn't know that the second i think about him a tear rolls down my cheek because i'm trying for something i'll never get. Sometimes, i just don't think he realizes the reason i get all quiet and just sit there and laugh is because he takes it all away..
It's a fine line between love and friendship, how many times did we fall over that line? how many times did it take us to know that we can never have both??
I need to rest my case.
fifteen days.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 6:18 AM
Monday, June 9, 2008
HOLLAND vs ITALY !
Contemplating catching it at Suren's place tonight. Elf just rang me up and asked if i'd wanna go over to Regentville, hmmm. Still chewing on it. Will decide later. Then he asks me to go over to his place to help him out with his last minute packing cause his 20 odd boxes are gonna be shipped off to Arizona this week ! This just makes it that much more real. 17 more days, and the US of A steals him away. Sighhhh
I am hungry, i need to find food!
ok bye!
______________
Boy: Do you still love me? Girl: Yes Boy: You don't act like it. Girl: I never stopped loving you, I just stopped showing it.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 1:05 AM
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Him: You were the one that walked away.. Her: You were the one that didn't stop me. ***
The aroma of my mommy's chicken rice cooking in the kitchen is making my mouth water. I can smell it as i type this and i can't wait for lunch, which should be anytime soon. So before i hear the mother screaming for me to join them, i shall make a quick entry.
The weeeekend was just spontaneously random i'd say. Nothing planned but both nights i found myself out. Alcohol and all. Someone please please remind me that i need a detox, oh so badly. Really. I was tipsy enough on Friday, everything including my words were spinning around me. It was one of those 'chill out' nights, and you know how you have this huge urge to dance when the alcohol sets in and you need music to dance it off? Well Clubbing was never part of the agenda. However, the alcohol worked its magic with us and my mp3 was not good enough. So we made our way to Gotham and free entry for all. I wonder who gave us that perk?? Was it you Shawn Dass?? Ok, nvm. Point is we got in and drank more, no thanks to Shawn Dass and his brilliant plans of getting a bottle. Boogied the night away and homee for me. I am conveniently leaving out some of the details in between. :) Whatever it is, i got home safe..reeking of alcohol of course.
Saturday, was just a quick trip to JB to pump petrol and get fags. With Mister Wolverine. And then off to Clarke Quay to meet Raine, Raj and Steph. Arena and Gotham, courtesy of Raj's uncle. Oh the perks, again. I stayed away from anything and everything alcoholic. Had an early night. Early by definition, meaning before 4ish. Cause i'd only get home around 6ish, most times! Heh. Haven't had much sleeep at all, and already i had to wakey wakey early this morning to help the mother out with the house chores and what not. Mom has OCD la! Bleah! I think someday it's gonna rub off on me too. =/
Schooool once again tomorrow. Not complaining, i actually enjoy schoool. Classmates are nice, lecturer is quite mono but i do survive his classes. Had a module with him before so i knew what i was in for. Anyway, i am cravinggg for my 'Mei Ling' street chicken rice leh! Tomorrow, tomorrow. Tonight i shall go to bed dreaming of 'Mei Ling'...street chicken riceeeeeeeee.....
Alrightyyy, i'm off to check on lunch. :):)
Happy Sunday!
♥the trick is to keep breathing 10:51 PM
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
***
Someday, i'll realize.
♥the trick is to keep breathing 9:36 PM
Monday, June 2, 2008
AMOR NO ES AMOR, IS THIS AN ILLUSION THAT I HAVE IN MYHEART..
YAWNSSSSSSS!
Been up all day! barely slept! Only cause i was 'Sexing it in the City' last night with Elf, Shalz, Ian, Rama and Bran. Considering how i caught all 6 seasons of Sex and the City i must say i was pretty pleased with how the movie went. Though i was kinda bumped out when i found out Mr BIG wasn't 'carried' away. But yea, i was caught off guard at the end.. i mean how can they NOT end up together, right??? Lovedddddd the movie! But, it kinda hit me. The fact that the movie marks the end of SEX & THE CITY. Gotta love those girlss. Sighh..but its all goood. I have my other series/dramas to keep me busy and going though season finales are just too depressing. Most of them have ended for the season, but perfect timing i must add! It wouldn't be as distracting, now that i need to get down to some serious mugging.
The boy needs to be nursed back to good health after his surgery. And i have been in hospital all of today doing just that. And i could see the gratitude in his eyes. No neeed for thank yous hey. You know i will always be there, rain or shine. Most times rain! :) Gotta see him tomorrow, getting him breakfast cause mister-fussy can't eat the hospital foood and shoved the porridge he got for dinner in my face. Ate my filling from the chicken and mayo croissant, left me the croissant and lettuce. Thank You for loving me. Haha..you're too funny la! A frying pan??? A dozen shampoos and body foams?! to last you two years!? Ya right! now i know what to get you when i visit!
Shinaaa
