Scars For Me & Souvenirs For You

Sunday, May 4, 2008

ERASE undo ERASE undo ERASE

If only there was some form of anesthetic for pain that's caused mentally or emotionally. why do they only have such things for physical pain?? I need a xyclocaine NOW. Injected into my brain! The bit where the memory of you still lingers.

SIGH. so out i was last night. Shopped a bit, didn't make it in time for threading cause Shalz got the darn time wrong. So walked around after i bought myself a bag and slip-ons from M(phosis. Sat at Lido Macs talking and catching up with her, after which Wxsieeee joined us. Ian and Brandon fetched us later and i had a 'appetite-less' plate of chicken rice! I've completely lost my appetite the past couple of days, i don't know why. But that's a good thing. After dinner we kinda drove around AIMLESSLY. nothing new, it happens with everyone i hang out with. We drove down thomsan road 3 times?? The devils bend made me dizzy. Lower Seletar Reservoir while waiting for Rama and Elf. Then off we were to town to catch a movie. Good movie choices, which explains why we were left with the first two rows for both movie choices and the stupid boys did not want to watch Over Her Dead Body! KTV plans were ditched cause only one person wanted to sing and that one person contradicts his own name - ELVIS. Soooooo, plans plans plans. Ended up renting a DVD room at cine, rented some useless cock show, Skin walkers. The first 10 mins were crap and we were bored stiff so paid extra 6 bucks to change movies and settled for Vacancy which i thought was shocking but boring. We never caught the ending cause the power went off before that! Damn lame!

Saturday went by, sunday came. Got me thinking even more. Note to self: contain and refrain. If i could buy a gun here in singapore, i would've shot myself a long long time ago. Then again i guess most of us would've. Now i seek comfort in in in in.....in god knows what. I need to find peace, peace within myself. There's no such thing as turning back time, there's no going back.

I come in here and sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so i wish for patience and grace and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly i pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what i want. That's the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks!

BUT...you still have all of me.

♥the trick is to keep breathing 11:31 AM