A contemptuous narcissist, who believes that happiness,
comes to those who truly want it. –It’s in your hands.
You choose how you live this life and you only live it once.
You either make it or break it.
2.19AM on a Thursday morning and i'm home. Didn't club. Chose not to rather. After last weeks useless movie choice - Funny Games US, thought i'd make up for it and catch Harold & Kumar but family time seemed more appealing and hence had dinner with them over some good ol' BBQ!! :) Good food, great company!
Now i'm home and contemplating playing poker yet again cause i'm down to 7K ! SOB sob! I've watched One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives and Grey's already so there's nothing left to watch. Another SOB SOB there.
SIGHHH. BORING! One tree hill last night triggered some sorta' emotion in me. Something that i kept buried in me for weeks now. But after talking about it and confessing to someone about how i truly felt, it kinda made me feel better. It's MAY the 1st! and can't help but think what could've been. Funny how under other circumstances i'd never remember the 1st but tonight, I did. Weird weird. Time really flies huh, another month it'd be June and half the year would've gone by. It would've been 6 months since, and i'm still sober huh?
you have a way with words, you have a way with how you can stare me down and pretend it doesn't mean anything, still i stand grounded.
at the end of this road i might catch a glimpse of me. no comparing, no more second guessing. its been a couple of months and i'm still breathing. it's never really over, no. it gets harder, but its a fear that i face everyday and its good to be scared i suppose cause it means we know we've still got something to lose.
BUT...i'm still sober and that's all that matters, for tonight at least.