Scars For Me & Souvenirs For You

Saturday, January 5, 2008

This i picked up from facebook -

Aries: You thought you'd convinced someone how you feel, but they don't get it. Time to have that talk again.

This i picked up from yahoo.com horoscopes -

Have you been waiting for the right time to take action? Now is the time -- your energy couldn't be better and circumstances are definitely lined up in your favor. There's no need to think things through further.

Hmmm, so what exactly can i decipher from these two horoscopes? They seem to be referring to the same darn thing?! I am just as clueless.

BLEAH!

Well, it's a saturday. The weather is beautiful. And you know how you feel like staying in on some days, tucked in bed with a book in hand and hot chocolate in another...today did feel like one of those days and I was armed with a book and without the hot chocolate of course. Then i suddenly felt like meeting the bf, and having one of those aimless walks around town, sit some place, perhaps coffeebean for a nice lil chat over hot cappuccino. Go for a movie or just do something really spontaneous. I can't quite recall when was the last time we did something like that. I mean ever since he got his car, we've just been driving from Point A to Point B, and sometimes the drive just deprives us of these much needed, no-agenda-kinda-talks, you know? Cause the music is blasting or he's just busy chasing some other car? I mean yea, i do share his passion. And I am A LOT like him when it comes to his adrenaline pumping interests. But sometimes its not about his passion or his interests alone, and I am not asking him to share my passions or interests with me. Maybe sometimes, just maybe I need him to put all of that aside for a bit and pay some attention to me. To us, to this relationship.

I think it really just boils down to commitment. How committed you are to the relationship and the lengths you'd take to make it work. And I am not saying that the above mentioned is one of the biggest reasons that a relationship wouldn't work. There are countless reasons. And when i mean countless, i speak from experience. So much has changed !!!

And I mean there aren't any protocols when it comes to matters of the heart. Some things shouldn't be questioned. And is it really true that, what you don't know wouldn't hurt you? I tried living by that, but when i did know, gawd it killed me ! Killed me more when he didn't realize how hurt i was and how he wasn't sorry about any of it just made it a hell lot worse. Though it's been awhile now, something new just keeps getting sprung up all the time. How much can i take really? I mean if you were to put yourself in my shoes, then perhaps you'd feel the hurt and resentment i feel.

Time and time again, I say 'I rest my case'...time will tell if I choose to repair what you broke or literally rest my case.

All i know is, I LOVE YOU.

ps: NYE was that damn good, cause of you. You made every minute count. I know what you are capable of. What we share is beautiful, if only you'd think so too.

"Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes.We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. We have to understand that knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.."

♥the trick is to keep breathing 2:48 AM