Scars For Me & Souvenirs For You

Monday, October 22, 2007

We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

It's 2.20am in the freaking morning. I need to smoke, terribly much you'd think I am exaggerating but NO i ain't. I could take a walk to get me some fags, well if it weren't raining that heavily plus the darn 7-11 is like ten effing miles away from my place. I hate where I live! I can't drive (yet), i need cigarettes and above all, i (think) I NEED YOU, now!

Sighs. The virus on my laptop is annoying the crap outta me. Thanks to the wonderful tagger aka asshole who was free enough to link a virus on my tagboard and call me a bigger asshole for clicking on it. =/ BLEAH! I've like ten thousand windows popping up every 3 seconds, it's so not funny anymore.

OK, i just re-read the last two paragraphs and it wouldn't take a 2 year old to figure that I am in a very very grumpy mood. (no, not that time of the month) I do know why. But I don't think i am doing anything about it. I should though. ALL this running around trying to make things work and then playing a part to ruin it, is just getting a tad bit exhausting. Oh hell, i think i think way too much at times. "YOU THINK??"

It was so good hearing your voice though. Made me feel a lot better, hearing you made me feel like i was right back in my comfort zone. I should get out of my comfort zone though, no? I don't want to!

Gawd! I am rambling rubbish. I shall cut the crap.

I don't have a flight tomorrow. On standby, my next flight's on Wednesday, Phuket. Short and sweet, just how i like it. Found out I'm flying with one of my badge mates, can't wait. Haven't seen all of them in ages, and it'll be nice to catch up, even with one of them. :) Nothing is happening this weekend, well least not yet. ohh crap! 24th! I am super broke! Reckon me staying in would be the best of ideas.

Heyy, another week and November is here. Mom's birthday on the 10th! Celebrating it. Excited for that, which explains why i won't be able to make it for Nessa's 21st :( I'll make up for it k my dear.

Triston's birthday on 7th of Dec and then Dad's on the 8th. Christmas! Elf's birthday on the 28th and New Years! Gosh, time really flies huh? Feels like just a few months back I was chilling at Suren's place for New Years, gambling the damn night away. That is NOT how i want to spend New Years this year, hell NO. Definitely not on flight either. *crossing my fingers and praying* I want it to be like yester-years. With the girlfriends and boyfriend. When Christmas mass was a must, and that too at SVDP, sure did feel like home. With Mom, Dad and my Sis too of course. Then the usual wine and cheese, ha, or so we thought. Ended up sipping baileys or drinking up our vodka with Lorraine's mommy's delicious spread of home made supper. After we had all gone for mass at the respective churches. Lorraine, Steph, Simran, Carrie, Sis, myself (our boys, from whenever). Oh it was beautiful. The spirit of it all. It was always a quiet and intimate affair, Christmas that is.Sighs. OHH, then the all too familiar planning of where to go or what to do for new years. Hotel themed parties, picking out our clothes, writing up the guest list etc. MANN! THOSE were the days, i swear!!!! I could go on forever.

I could take out old pictures and albums, sit and reminisce about the good old days and it never fails to put a smile on my face. :)

I AM IN A BETTER MOOD ALREADY !

AND SO, this christmas and new years is coming. Will it be any different? OR very different. Too soon to tell. NO party poopers! Please.....

♥the trick is to keep breathing 11:16 AM